Bed Head and a Mission for Veg
A daylight adventure from Tooting Bec, north, across the undrawn border that crosses into Balham. Today, a late Halloween mission for supplies. And fireworks. That was the easy bit. First pumpkin, green jelly, face paint and any common food stuffs that could pass, at least through the eyes of a terrified six year old, as witch poo, rats eyeballs, goat brain or whatever.
I walked. First along Upper Tooting Road where it turns out Curry Express is not applying for a licence. At first I thought maybe a drinks licence or um, an ice cream license. But no. They're closing. The 'All you can eat' offer saw them literally eaten out of house and home. The license is for a new place. Always strange when one curry house shuts down only to be replaced by another. "I know those guys failed, but we're different dammit! We'll have 'Eat all you buy!' Yes, that will be our slogan! Next!"
Ten minutes walk. It was at this stage that I noticed my bed head. Not in my reflection as such, but the triangle shaped shadow my head was making in front of me. Pointy at the top. Two bits sticking out on each side. People treat you differently when you look like this. You either get sympathy (this poor guy can't even comb his hair). Or people don't trust you. Like you're too busy sniffing glue to brush. Either way you're going to cause trouble. People want you out of the shop as soon as possible.
This happened when I tried to buy cigarettes. I asked for ten, he went through what was on offer. Camel, Elephant, Rabbit. I think that's how it went. Aware of my status with the hair situation I read him for being, well, a wanker. I paused a second and said 'oh I get it'. Then paid for ten. Then I asked if I could swap them and pay for twenty. Nope. This would involve a trip to customer services, forms to fill in, applications, paperwork and an administrator working weekend overtime. "I'll do it!"
No, I didn't. They were inches away from security. I was inches away from losing it with a part-ripe pumpkin. Instead I bought chocolate money, Angel Delight and then made my way back to the safety of Tooting lines. And a shower. Only go out again clean.
I walked. First along Upper Tooting Road where it turns out Curry Express is not applying for a licence. At first I thought maybe a drinks licence or um, an ice cream license. But no. They're closing. The 'All you can eat' offer saw them literally eaten out of house and home. The license is for a new place. Always strange when one curry house shuts down only to be replaced by another. "I know those guys failed, but we're different dammit! We'll have 'Eat all you buy!' Yes, that will be our slogan! Next!"
Ten minutes walk. It was at this stage that I noticed my bed head. Not in my reflection as such, but the triangle shaped shadow my head was making in front of me. Pointy at the top. Two bits sticking out on each side. People treat you differently when you look like this. You either get sympathy (this poor guy can't even comb his hair). Or people don't trust you. Like you're too busy sniffing glue to brush. Either way you're going to cause trouble. People want you out of the shop as soon as possible.
This happened when I tried to buy cigarettes. I asked for ten, he went through what was on offer. Camel, Elephant, Rabbit. I think that's how it went. Aware of my status with the hair situation I read him for being, well, a wanker. I paused a second and said 'oh I get it'. Then paid for ten. Then I asked if I could swap them and pay for twenty. Nope. This would involve a trip to customer services, forms to fill in, applications, paperwork and an administrator working weekend overtime. "I'll do it!"
No, I didn't. They were inches away from security. I was inches away from losing it with a part-ripe pumpkin. Instead I bought chocolate money, Angel Delight and then made my way back to the safety of Tooting lines. And a shower. Only go out again clean.
Labels: Tooting Bec
posted by Stephen | 3:25 PM
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