The World Cup

The World Cup starts tomorrow. The planet will almost stop tomorrow (checks wall-chart) at 5pm to watch Germany play Costa Rica. Then the whole shebang will finally be underway. All except for the Americans. They'll be finding burgers for lunch.

The World Cup plays a crucial role in guaranteeing the security of the world, and the people on it. You see, however miserable you may feel, however low life gets, the one stable thing you can count on that will always be there, not like a person or an off license, is the World Cup.

And being every four years you can't waste them. Figuring a healthy life, no accidents, good living, no war - you still get only 15 of them that you can watch with all your faculties. It’s important not to waste one.

But seriously, can you really put life's troubles aside simply for football? Is that insensitive and a brutish alternative reality to how the world works? Can you really forget it all? Of course you can! Togo will be playing South Korea - it's a month of football everyday!

The picture is of Zinedine Zidane lifting the Cup in 1998. Zidane was good. Is good. Wear's the number 5, which of course is a lucky number.

Another distraction is the heavy backing of one team over another. Like tomorrow for instance. Germany to beat the Costa Ricans. Put a pound on and you might get 20p back. So put a lot of pounds on and ride the luck wave. This, people, is the highlife we were all promised at school if we worked hard. Tuck in, there's plenty for everyone.